Howard Hughes was a reclusive billionaire who lived unseen for decades by nearly every person who knew or worked for him. He also lived in his own filth while simultaneously issuing insane rambling edicts about hygiene to his mormon staff. Plus he banged more women than Wilt Chamberlain. So there’s three reasons he was awesome. Haven’t you always wished you could be just like him — shrouded in secrecy while waging a never ending furtive war on germs, public perception, and sanity? Well, now you can, except for the whole banging more women than Wilt Chamberlain, because, you know, you’re not a billionaire.
Because of his hermit-like existence, it’s actually surprisingly affordable to affect one of the richest men in history. You’ll find, once you get past the stares, odor, and total lack of sunlight, that the lifestyles of the rich and famous are, firstly, not only reserved for the rich and famous, and, secondly, truly are the only way to live. Just follow this handy guide, and you’ll be on your way to the abyss faster than you can say, “Freemasons run the country.”
