This article is inspired by this article, which is one of many annoying fucking articles about how customers need to act towards their waitresses, baristas (which is Italian for “a person who does the same job as the dumpy cash register girl at McDonald’s”), and other service industry lackeys. These articles are bullshit and only exist so the readers can smugly remind themselves that they could never be so inconsiderate as to act like some déclassé customer and ruin some hipster college dropout’s day. Also, if the title of the article doesn’t piss you off (“A Cup of Kindness: Five Things Baristas Want You to Know“), I don’t know what will.
Anyway, here’s an item-by-item counterpoint:
Continue reading ’5 Things I Want You to Know About Starbucks Baristas’
. I was so excited to buy it. Firstly, because it’s expensive and it only works on other expensive consumer electronics, and that sends a message to people I don’t know. That message is, “Hey, look at me. I like to buy expensive things. Love me.” Secondly, it’s a great film and I stress the word film. I love great films. I appreciate only great films. Why, I spend most my days at home enjoying fine cinema and showing how smart I am in appreciating them on various message boards on the internet. Fine films such as 300, The Dark Knight, and The Matrix all share a treasured place in my heart and in my film library, neatly tucked away with care and love on my vast shelves of only the finest cinema.