Archive for the 'TV' Category

Seriously, fuck you CNN

Published on September 27, 2010 in Internet! and TV. 2 Comments
Lindsay Lohan CNN headline

When you live La Vida Lohan, you button all the way to the top.

I don’t care about Lindsay Lohan. I know she switched places with Jamie Lee Curtis in that Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen movie that I liked. Also, I heard she does Gary Busey-levels of cocaine, which doesn’t bother me, and is perfectly understandable considering she has a twin sister that is a sleazy stripper — a problem which is further compounded by the fact that all the popular girls are mean to her at her new school. So, yeah, nothing she does bothers me.

What does bother me is smarmy obnoxious headlines like: ”Lindsay’s lawyer is living La Vida Lohan.”

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Congratufuckinlations Domino’s®!

Published on August 11, 2010 in Signs of the Apocalypse and TV. 0 Comments

You managed to get some sad lump of humanity to eat your shit pizza!

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Is it just me…

Published on May 14, 2010 in TV. 0 Comments

…or does this guy look like Norm MacDonald as Burt Reynolds?

Sexy and the Bandit

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NBC’s “Life” Didn’t Understand Video Games or Computers or Detective Work or Embezzling

Published on December 19, 2009 in TV. 2 Comments

NBC’s now-cancelled show “Life” seems to have had a tenuous grasp on the concept of video games, computers, and crime. In this hard hitting episode,  a drug dealer hid all his top secret drug dealing spreadsheets inside his copy of Prince of Persia, and the only way to access his crime Quickbookz, is by beating the game. I remember seeing this when it came out, but it took me forever to finally find it. Apparently the network doesn’t want you to see it — either because of copyright issues or embarrassment. I’d like to think both, but for a channel that airs something like 9 different iterations of Law & Order — each more inane than the previous —  I’m pretty sure embarrassment isn’t something they feel anymore. Check out the video:

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Joe the Plumber has a really shitty agent, y’all.

Published on December 12, 2008 in TV. 0 Comments

It’s hard for me to believe that someone, somewhere thought this was a really good idea. I will say that the subject matter and production quality is ironically fitting.

It’s good to see Tom Selleck is still getting work.

Published on December 9, 2008 in TV. 0 Comments

I’m just foolies. Outside of the mustache this guy doesn’t even look like ol’ Magnum. This is just my clever way to segue to the dopey HBO Miniseries House of Saddam. It’s like Dallas in Iraq or Dynasty in the desert or Bonanza in Mesopotamia or some other crummy prime time soap opera in some other crummy Middle East region. 

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