I originally wanted this post’s title to be “Amazon’s Kindle® Replacement Policy Makes Me Horny As All Get Out,” but it seemed too long.
I love my Kindle®
I’ve had mine for about two years, and, during those two years, I think I’ve become a better person. Some will say a more smug person, but those people are just jealous because they can’t afford an e-reader with which to read the classics of literature (primarily Dean Koontz and Danielle Steel). Continue reading ‘Amazon’s Kindle® Replacement Policy Makes Me Horny’
. I was so excited to buy it. Firstly, because it’s expensive and it only works on other expensive consumer electronics, and that sends a message to people I don’t know. That message is, “Hey, look at me. I like to buy expensive things. Love me.” Secondly, it’s a great film and I stress the word film. I love great films. I appreciate only great films. Why, I spend most my days at home enjoying fine cinema and showing how smart I am in appreciating them on various message boards on the internet. Fine films such as 300, The Dark Knight, and The Matrix all share a treasured place in my heart and in my film library, neatly tucked away with care and love on my vast shelves of only the finest cinema.
Nicotine and caffeine go together like America and apple pie, so it’s kind of a wonder that those fat-cat ad wizards on Madison Avenue took so long to come up with a product that combines the two. Behold, the 
. Every time I try to quit the cancer sticks (which is about once a month — don’t you judge me), I opt for the