Capital One has this thing where you can design your own credit card. Naturally, I chose a close-up picture of meat. I guess since it’s not copyrighted, sexually inappropriate, have religious imagery, feature the olympics, or have a candid Glamour Shot® of Adolph Eichmann, it got approved. So, in 7-10 business days, I should be able to buy all the aquariums and lava lamps my credit limit can bear. Now I just have to wait for my name change to Lee Marcel Cardholder to go through.

I recently installed Google Analytics on my blog and one of its features is the ability to find out what search terms people used on Google to find your site. What a wonderful world we live in where the Number 2 most frequently searched phrase that gets people to my blog is “animated humping”

These little freaks are coming here because of this post, and that’s awesome. The problem is that 40% of those pre-verts leave right after they click their link. There just isn’t enough animated humping action to satiate their beat-off needs. 

Therefore, without further ado, I present to you my personal collection of animated .gifs of people and things humping. Please, sit back and enjoy!

Go Mario!

Kermit has a new Regular Saturday Night Thing.

When a person humps a tree, that's called dendraphelia.

I hate both the Willy Wonka movies, but you gotta admit this is hawt.

Sweet irony, thy name is 'mouse humping mouse'.

A classic animated hump.

Doin' it to some Lady Parts.

Hopefully this will keep the little furry freaks happy.

Update: I’ve added some more hawt as ballz animated humping in this post. Enjoy!