Who doesn’t like boozing? I know I do. I love how conversations gradually turn into shouting matches, the oh so many romantic misunderstandings, and especially the 2-day hangover napathons. You know what though? Turns out other people like boozing too. Who’da thunk it? I compiled a list of my five favorite alcoholic quotes because: A: I’m lazy (only five!) and B. they can’t all be winners (this has been done to death).
I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won’t let himself get snotty about it.
— Hardboiled noir drunk: Raymond Chandler
I’ll stick with gin. Champagne is just ginger ale that knows somebody.
— Fictional drunk: Hawkeye from M*A*S*H
Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
— Literary drunk: Papa Hemingway
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
— Old people thought he was funny way back forever ago drunk: W.C. Fields
The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to.
— Old people thought he was funny twenty years ago drunk: P.J. O’Rourke
The coffee shop smell from next door came in at the windows with the soot but failed to make me hungry. So I got out my office bottle and took the drink and let my self-respect ride its own race.
— Bonus badass drunk: Raymond Chandler, from The Big Sleep
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