Hey you guys, have I got a scoop for you: alcohol makes people (me) more fuckable! I’m serious. According to Discovery News, the more you drink, the more likely you are to want to knock boots with pretty much any of the other uggos in the bar.
No. fucking. shit.
I shouldn’t be so hard on Discovery News, what with their recent hard-hitting exposé “Sun, Kristy Swanson: Both Hot but for Different Reasons”. It’s understandable that after such exhaustive investigative reporting, the crack team at Discovery would want to downshift and report on something people have known about since, oh, I don’t know, for-fucking-ever.
Pay attention, dipshit. It's science!
My favorite part of the article is a little feature Discovery News calls “The Gist”. You see, “The Gist” is a really clever way for those of us who are too busy with the workaday world to really get down to the brass tacks of an article.
Let me tell you, if finding out that booze makes you think ugly people are prettier comes as a shock to you, then these little factoids are going to blow your fucking mind. The only item that might be new information is number 3, and that’s only if you’ve never gotten a girl drunk enough to sleep with you, and, let’s be honest, everyone has — except maybe mormons or al qaeda or their offshoot splinter group/improv troupe: mormqaeda .
Although, all of this is pretty meaningless to me. I’m pretty easy. I’d fuck a tree — two, if I could afford it. I probably wouldn’t even have to be drunk, as long as it’s symmetrical.
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Very usefull post do you mind if i translate into Bengali for my blogs viewers? Thanks
As the saying goes, “The women are all beautiful at closin’ time.”